May 24th arrived, and I was on my way into the hospital to meet with the oncologist for the first time. We entered the cancer institute and I immediately felt uncomfortable. Looking around, there were some older people with masks on, some with no hair, some sickly and some that looked healthy. I just wanted to be called back to find out what our next steps would be. The lovely nurse brought us back to a room and offered us something to drink. We waited for a short period of time and then there was a knock at the door. My doctor entered the room and she was the sweetest older woman. I am going to try and recap this visit to the best of my ability, but some of it was a blur after she started talking.
The doctor sat down and wasted no time. The first topic of discussion would be freezing my eggs. Oh, and don't forget, she still had not told us which type of cancer I had. She explained how the chemo I would be getting had potential to destroy my reproductive system or send me into early menopause. I couldn't wrap my head around getting my eggs frozen and now she is telling me I have to go through chemo. The anxiety was back again, and my pulse had to be through the roof. She continued explaining the next steps, which would be a bone marrow biopsy. This was to distinguish whether the cancer reached my bone marrow and to test for leukemia. On top of that, a PET Scan was scheduled to determine the stage of the cancer. I had testing for the next week straight to make sure I was good to go for the inevitable chemo.
What else could she pile on at this point? ...Just you wait. It felt as if she was reading off a check list of all the things I couldn't do. No vacation, must do chemotherapy, you WILL lose your hair, radiation, you must wear a mask, you can't go out to eat etc. I swear the list went on forever. She finally stepped out of the room so we could gather ourselves. I was burning inside with confusion and sorrow. I couldn't say a word when she left. My parents and sister were there and of course my mom and dad went to reach for me. Immediately, I moved and asked them not to. I knew if they started to comfort me or hug me that I would break down. I had to stay strong. I wasn't the only one who's life was about to change because of this information. I held it together for my parents and for my sister who was sitting right next to me. We sat in silence until the doctor came back in and gave us our paperwork. We went to scheduling and got my appointments straightened out.
My aunts came into town that weekend and we had a weird sort of party get together with the family after we found out all the bad news. People were sad but being together always helps. Unfortunately, this was the weekend that I was on the highest dose of Prednisone for the Sweet's Syndrome. 80mg for 3 days caused my muscles to cramp. I couldn't walk and my hands began to weaken. I would offer a tip on how to fix this but there was no fixing it. Pain pills and sleep was all I could do.
Memorial Day weekend had just past and every one of my friends was out on a boat, at a beach, or at a concert. It started to become a struggle as I missed out on more and more. I was sad that my last summer as a student would be spent popping pills and sleeping. But I had to stay positive. If I didn't, I would have slipped into a sinkhole of misery.
On Tuesday May 28th, I had my bone marrow biopsy scheduled. I felt terrible that it was on this day because it also happened to be my sister's 17th birthday. She should have been celebrated and been given all the attention. Instead, I had a lot of the attention. Not that I wanted any part of it, but it was inescapable. I had heard negative things about the bone marrow biopsy but didn't do too much digging to find out what was going to happen.
When we got to the hospital, we were brought to a small infusion room. I gave about 10 vials of blood and a scheduling nurse came in to talk about upcoming appointments. She explained that my PET scan would be on Friday and that I would have to start the strict diet for it that day. (For the diet, you only eat vegetables and plain meat). When the doctor arrived, she comforted me and told me the procedure was nothing like it used to be and some people don't feel a thing. Yeah right! She gave me an Ativan to relax me and make me a little tired. Of course, the pill did nothing when it came to the biopsy. My mom was able to stay in the room and hold my hand during the procedure. They began by numbing the surface and would go deeper each time. She would then put in another needle. While she was using this needle, she wanted me to tell her if I felt anything because that meant she was not in the numb area anymore. Why this procedure is not in an operating room with anesthesia, I have no idea. The pain once she went to the wrong spot was excruciating! I had electric shock pains zipping down my leg and extreme pressure on my back. I could feel her tugging, like she was trying to pull the bone out from my back. I felt so bad for my mom who was sitting next to me watching me wince in pain over and over again. How was I going to make it through if this was just the beginning?
The next day, Wednesday, I was in a good amount of pain from the biopsy, even so I had to go back into the hospital for appointments. They took an MRI of my brain to check for any abnormalities. They also conducted a few pulmonary function tests. After all of these tests, we finally got some great news! Since I was under 22, diagnosed with cancer and was being treated at Hershey Medical Center I was eligible to be covered under Four Diamonds (The THON organization I talked about in "Diagnosis"). Which was ironic because THON had been my passion all through high school. Especially Junior and Senior year.
So, my mom is an online portal feign and my first blood test results were posted. Like a normal concerned mother, she printed out the results and looked up each fancy name. No, she had no idea what she was looking at...but she did her best to figure it out. The following day we would meet with fertility specialist and our next oncologist appointment would be that Friday.
What's Next: Keep checking for my next post, which will be about the fertility treatment and egg retrieval. Love all of the support, please keep commenting and engaging! #IGotTheCancer
